Why Advice Does Not Work

Advice rarely works!  I think advice hardly ever works and that is why I try to give little, to no advice to people in my life.  Here are a few reason why.

Reason #1

Even if it's good advice, people hardly ever listen to it.  The reality is, when people give me advice,especially unsolicited advice (advice I did not ask for), I tend not to listen and it makes little to no difference for me.

Reason #2

The person who is giving the advice is usually not thinking about what’s the best interest for another.  They are thinking about themselves.Here is an example. A guy doesn't know if he should quit his job and he asks a friend for some advice.  Here is what he says, “Well, if you really hate your job and it's causing you a lot of stress, I think you should leave your job.” He asks another friend for some more advice and she says, “Well, you know you should never leave a job unless you have another job lined up.” He decides to ask a third friend and he says, “Well, I would work on your resume and I believe that a job will show up when the timing is right.”  My point is, that if he keeps asking people, people will continue to give him advice.  However, the advice he gets is not often what is in the best interest for him.

Here is one more example.  I once asked my neighbor for a restaurant recommendation for my family.  He said, “Michael, you've got to go to this new Mexican place. It's got great spicy food and their steak fajitas are outstanding.  You’ll love it.”   I am thinking in my head, I don't like spicy food and I'm a vegetarian so that is not a great recommendation. 

For parents of teenagers, don't give unsolicited advice. If your teenager does not ask for your opinion or advice, then don't give it to them. They eventually will come to you and ask for your advice.  And when they do, they'll be much more open to receiving it.  Lastly, before you give your advice, ask a lot of questions.  Questions like:  How much would you like to spend on your vacation? What kind of vacations do you like? Do you like beaches? What kind of food do you like? How much money do you want to spend? Do you want to go somewhere close or far away?

My advice to you is not to give advice.

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